


The Way to Eden:  Renegade

by Cheree_Cargill



Series: Glimpses of a Life [76]
Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Episode: s03e20 The Way to Eden, Gen, Music, Vulcan lyre, outcast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 07:33:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16828039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheree_Cargill/pseuds/Cheree_Cargill
Summary: When Dr. Sevrin and his free-spirited followers come aboard the Enterprise, Spock thinks back to his outcast brother Sybok and how he has been something of a renegade, too.





	The Way to Eden:  Renegade

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc. The story contents are the creation and property of Cheree Cargill and is copyright (c) 2018 by Cheree Cargill. This story is Rated PG.

_Stardate:_ _5834._ _8\. Personal Log. First Officer Spock recording._

When I was a little boy, there was a man who came to our home periodically. He was tall and stocky, like my father, and unaccountably jolly and glad to see me, although at first I didn't understand who he was. My mother was always pleased to welcome him, and it later dawned on me that my father was never at home when the man came.

By the time I was four, I had learned that this man was my half-brother, Sybok. He was much older than me, in fact older than my mother. At the time, I didn't comprehend how anyone could be half-anything. He certainly _looked_ whole to me and for a time I surreptitiously watched him, trying to discern which parts of him were missing. It was he who sat me down and explained how he and I both had Sarek as our father, but that Amanda was not his mother. His own mother had died long, long ago, when he was a baby and that many years later, our father had remarried and then I had been born. I pondered that fact for a while then accepted it and put it behind me.

Sybok did not visit our home often and I learned it was because he and our father did not like one another. As I grew older, I came to understand that it was more than dislike. If it was possible for Vulcans to feel hatred, then it was true for these two. I didn't know why for a very long time, but eventually puzzled it out, with some information from my mother.

Sybok was that rarest of creatures, an emotional Vulcan. He had rejected the teachings of Surak and chosen to go his own way, embracing his own take on the world and expressing it openly. It was when he began to teach others his philosophy and to gather followers that Sarek disowned him and barred him from ever contacting our family again. I had already begun to show fascination with my brother and Sarek was determined that I would live my life in the true Vulcan fashion.

I thought of him when we brought on board Dr. Sevrin and his free-spirited followers. Like Sybok, Dr. Sevrin had rejected modern civilization and was in search of the mythical planet of Eden, just as Sybok had gone in search of Sha Ka Ree. Most people, scientists and laymen alike, considered these worlds to exist only in the imagination and in stories passed down orally from generation to generation. Others considered that there was a kernel of fact in most legends and that such planets could, indeed, exist. I think that the planet Eden _may_ actually exist, but is not in Federation space.

Dr. Sevrin's followers are being treated as guests on the ship. The Captain has ordered increased security around them, but is also compelled to give them relative freedom because of the presence of the son of the Catullan ambassador, Tongo Rad, and the sensitive nature of the Federation negotiations with that planet.

In an attempt to give them something constructive to do, I gave them my permission to hold a musical session, with the Captain's approval and his order that I join them to make sure that they were doing no harm. I brought my _ka'athyra_ and played with them. I do not play in public often, my usual selections being Vulcan standards or ballads. The fast-paced musical number I joined was unlike anything in my usual repertoire but I have to say that I enjoyed it. It was full of energy and joy and made me think again of my brother.

During one of his visits, he brought a musical instrument with him, one I had never seen before. After allowing me to examine it and marvel at the sweet, high-pitched tone it played, he sat me on his lap and settled the lyre into place over my shoulder. The frame was too large for me, but he fitted my young fingers on the strings and taught me a simple song.

I demanded another one and Sybok aided me in picking out a children's tune from the taut strings. He did not use the amplifier, just plucked the strings. By the time he ended his visit and took his leave of us, I was in love with music. My mother took note and later that year, when we observed the Earth holiday of Christmas, my gift from her was a child's version of a _ka'athyra_ and lessons from a tutor who taught me to play properly. It was an acceptable gift for a Vulcan child and my father approved, although he did not know that it was his disgraced older son who had sparked in me the desire for music. My mother later taught me to play her piano and in that too I showed a surprising aptitude.

Just before I reached the age when I would undergo my _kahs'wan_ , my brother appeared again at our residence, this time when Sarek was at home. His purpose was to appeal to our father that I forego the dangerous rite of manhood. Sybok argued that it was illogical to expose a child to possible death for an outmoded and unnecessary ritual which served no purpose in the 23rd Century.

Sarek was infuriated and the two of them launched into a shouting match that frightened me nearly to death. Mother drew me out into the garden, as far away from the emotional explosion as she could. It seemed to go on forever, the backwash of emotions radiating from the two blasting over me, driving me to clap my hands over my ears and bury my face in her bosom, her arms holding me close.

Finally, it ended. Sybok was expelled from our home, never to return. Shortly, he was declared _k'torr skann,_ an outcast, and banished from Vulcan. I was forbidden to even mention his name. He was more than dead to us. He had never existed. I have not seen my brother since then. I do not even know if he is still alive.

But the spirit he planted in me, of not strictly following the Tenets of Surak and seeking my own way, could not be erased. I chose Starfleet instead of my father's path. I am a renegade now, too.

I draw my _ka'athyra_ into my lap and set my fingers to the strings. Unbidden, I begin to play the songs that my brother taught me so long ago and I hope one day that I will see him again. If he still lives, I hope that he finds the Eden he seeks and that it brings him peace.

THE END


End file.
